This interview is part of a week-long series with Karl Subban, one of Canada’s most well-known hockey Dads. Karl and Maria are the parents of 5 children, including 3 sons, P.K., Malcolm and Jordan who all play professional hockey. Karl is a retired school principal, author, speaker, and father.
This interview is abbreviated. As told to Katherine Dolan.
When P.K.’s hockey bag was way too big for him and heavier than him, I remember carrying it for him. But can you imagine if at 14 years old I am still carrying his hockey bag?
That is the thing, you have to know when to get out of the way and kids have to start figuring out things for themselves.
One of the lessons I learned in minor hockey was when P.K. was first drafted. George Burnett, the coach and GM called and spoke to me for ten seconds. He said, ‘Congratulations Mr. Subban thank you for being part of our family,’ and then I handed the phone over to P.K.. That’s when I realized that we just cut the umbilical cord.
He was not on his own, but the coach was going to have the majority of conversations with him from then on. And P.K. said, to me, ‘Daddy you can’t do my workouts for me, you can’t do my power skating for me, you can’t go to the track and run for me.’ As parents, we have to know when to get out of the way.
So as our children are growing older and they are getting bigger, we need to be growing our parenting skills too. If we are not learning and growing as parents when our children are learning and growing too, chances are we are going to get in their way and their chances of being successful.
I had to learn that as my children got older, I had a different role to play. I am out of the way but I am there to support them.
As our children are getting older, we also need to be growing our parenting skills. Because P.K. at 3 was not P.K. at 13, P.K. at 13 was not the same person at 26 and now he’s 30. If I am not getting better as a parent, it’s going to be very difficult for me to help him to fulfill his potential.